The Lake Poets - Edinburgh

I applaud your timing
I applaud your style
Now i feel like dying
It's been this for a while

I can hear your silence
I can feel your eyes
You can speak your mind but you never will
And now we're running out of time

In that Edinburgh bar you said nothing was wrong
Why were you lying to me?
In that Edinburgh bar you said nothing was wrong
Why were you lying to me?
In that Edinburgh bar
In that Edinburgh bar

I can see you're lying
Well that's nothing new
Well there's no denying
How i feel for you

How can I continue?
Tell me what to do
I guess I'll hide my feelings
Keep from losing you

In that Edinburgh bar you said nothing was wrong
Why were you lying to me?
In that Edinburgh bar you said nothing was wrong
Why were you lying to me?
In that Edinburgh bar
In that Edinburgh bar

In that Edinburgh bar you said nothing was wrong
Why were you lying to me?
In that Edinburgh bar you said nothing was wrong
Why were you lying to me?

We'll keep lying to me
We'll keep lying to me
We'll keep lying to me
We'll keep lying to me
We'll keep lying to me
We'll keep lying to me
We'll keep lying to me
We'll keep lying to me

Patriotism vs. Nationalism

Yes - I'm proud to be German!

I'm proud that we're giving refuge to so many refugees from the Middle East.
I'm proud that we're an open-minded country with many nationalities, cultures and languages.
I'm proud that we have a democracy.
I'm proud that we have so many different landscapes in this small country: Flat, mountains, hills, woods, the coast ...
I'm proud that we won the world cup four times.
I'm proud that we won the Eurovision Song Contest twice.
I'm proud that we have had many scientists, poets and musicians who did a really good job.

But I'm not proud of those nationalists, walking in the streets, telling refugees to go home and other Germans to wake up.
Because I'm wide awake. And I see what's happening here.
Because the same damn think happened less than 90 years ago. And we all know how it ended.
I'm proud to be German, because it's a great country. But so are other countries, and their citizens should be proud of their nationality, too. Because, when do I start feeling patriotic? It's when I meet people from other nationalities. Because I can tell them about my country, and they can tell me about theirs. And we can become friends and learn from each other.
We're not only citizens of Germany, we're citizens of the world, with a German nationality and culture.

For me, there's a clear difference.
A patriot cheers for his country in the world cup.
A nationalist cheers for his country in the world war.

Before focussing on what's best for us ('a government should always put its citizens first' blah blah blah...), we should think about what's best for all of us. We're all humans.

Panic! At The Disco - Always

When the world gets too heavy
Put it on my back
I'll be your levy
You are taking me apart
Like bad glue
On a get well card

It was always you
Falling for me
Now there's always time
Calling for me
I'm the light blinking at the end of the road
Blink back, to let me know

I'm a fly that's trapped
In a web
But I'm thinking that
My spider's dead
Lonely, lonely little life
I could kid myself
In thinking that I'm fine

It was always you
Falling for me
Now there's always time
Calling for me
I'm the light blinking at the end of the road
Blink back, to let me know

That I'm skin and bone
Just a king and rusty throne
Oh, the castle's under siege
But the sign outside says 'leave me alone'

It was always you
Falling for me
Now there's always time
Calling for me
I'm the light blinking at the end of the road
Blink back, to let me know
(It was always you)
Blink back, to let me know
(It was always you)

Party all day

No, the title doesn't make any sense. Why? Because I fookin' went out to go for a fookin' walk with a fookin' 15-year old friend to spend some fookin' time in the fookin' nature.
And I'm fookin' 18!!
So why do I need to tell you where I go and when I come back?
I have no idea!
It's a walk, I don't even look at my phone to see what time it is.
Ugh.
Well, anyway. So I went outside with Dilara again because she was worried about me and kept asking me if I wanted to do something with her. So in the end, I said yes. And it felt good to leave the house (apart from getting yelled at for it). And of course, I took some photos as well. Because I had a photoshooting the day after. And I needed to practise.

5am, Padersee

Bye Bye!

No, I'm not going!
Not yet, at least.
At the moment, my plans about going to Dortmund are starting to fade. I have the craziest ideas, so much motivation, I just want to pack my things and be gone.
How? Where? I have no idea. It could be classic: I could book a TEFL course, get an accommodation, get a job, book my flight to England and then go there.
But my ideas are even better. Or worse.
I was thinking - wouldn't it be possible to go to England by bike? Where would I sleep? I don't know! How would I carry my things? No idea! But it would be so awesome to be on my way for a week. Five countries in 8 days. Awesome.
Not like I actually wanted to do it, or could. My parents probably wouldn't let me, despite the fact that I'm 18. But I really really love the imagination!

First day: Lippstadt, Hamm, Bergkamen, night in Wesel. Second day: Geldern, night in Valkenswaard. Third day: Herentals, night in Antwerpen. Fourth day: Damme, night in Ostende. Fifth day: Dunkerque, Gravelines, Marck, night in Calais. Sixth day: Folkestone, Ashford, Rochester, night in Dartford. Seventh day: London, Slough, night in Reading. Last day: Newsbury, Devizes, Bath and finally Bristol. Or something like that. Crazy!

But I would have to do that in summer or spring, I suppose, and that's too late for me now, since it's almost summer and I wouldn't even know where to stay yet, haha.
I'm such a dreamer.

What happened to me? Well, after another breakup, I knew that I had to be happy, no matter what. That I should do whatever I want to, go wherever I want to. So I started planning. And it made me think about what my Vietnamese friend told me about Buddhism - and I think it would be really interesting to visit Buddhist temples and learn about this religion, because what they teach, is exactly what I want to believe. It's not just things they teach about a God they made up to understand the way the world works, no, it's a philosophy, the philosophy of being happy and free, no matter what.
My train of thought is a bit pathetic, I know. But the time has come to dream again, and now I'm finally at an age where I can make these dreams come true.

And I can do that, I know it.

Newkid - Jag Gråter Bara I Regnet

Lät hon in, lät hon ta
Lät mig tro vad hon än sa
Jag lät de gå, sväva på moln
Tills hon slet mig i stycken
Spotta på mina sår
Men ser det ut som om jag sörjer dig,
Mer som om jag höjer dig

För jag, kommer aldrig låta dig få se mig svag
Jag gråter ba i regnet
Super stolt, hon vill veta vad jag tänker
Men baby om det ändå var så enkelt
Men vaför vill du stå med mig i regnet, i regnet, i regnet
Varför vill du riva ner mitt stängsel
Baby jag vet ändå vad som händer
Så jag gråter ba i regnet

Gav hon allt, allt jag kan ge
Ville ha mer, de är sån hon e
Ensam men stark, de är sån jag blev
Litar inte på någon och allt är hennes fel
Men ser det ut som om jag lackar,
nej mer som om jag tackar dig

För jag, kommer aldrig mer behöva vara svag,
Jag gråter ba i regnet
Super stolt, hon vill veta vad jag tänker
Men baby om det ändå var så enkelt
Men vaför vill du stå med mig i regnet, i regnet, i regnet
Varför vill du riva ner mitt stängsel
Baby jag vet ändå vad som händer
Så jag gråter ba i regnet

Hon vill ha varmt, hon vill ha kallt
Hon vill ha hav, hon vill ha land
Hon vill ha vitt, hon vill ha svart
Hon vill ha mig, hon vill ha allt, hon vill ha allt
Jag gav dig en chans, men det tog mig ingenstans
Så sluta tro du vet för mig, det hjälper mig inte alls

Oooohhhh, super stolt hon vill veta vad jag tänker
Men baby om det ändå var så enkelt
Men vaför vill du stå med mig i regnet, i regnet, i regnet
Varför vill du riva ner mitt stängsel
Baby jag vet ändå vad som händer
Så jag gråter ba i regnet, i regnet, i regnet
jag gråter ba i regnet, jag gråter ba i regnet

Så baby du kan ta av dig ditt regnställ,
Så baby du kan ta av dig ditt regnställ,
Så baby du kan ta av dig ditt regnställ